Diigo Links

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Eggo, OJ, Boo, Fly, Mung



I, quite deliberately, was given a name that didn't lend itself to being shortened; not Peter, not Arthur.
But just as deliberately was given, well...
the nicknames I've gotten:
Baby idiot (1976-1981)
Pig (1979-1982)
Piglet (1979-1980)
Scumbag (1980-1982)
Faggot (1975)

What a sad and ugly five pointed list begotten. Rotten luck, time forgotten? Well, "if you have to ask"... But that is mine. Other people have lists of worse or better: Eggo, OJ, Boo, Fly, Mung, but mine's only spoken by a fiery tongue.

That is what I remember first, a lot. Such emphasis and focus on nailing me down. Again and again. In and out of years. Years. Dropping those in a coke bottle with a cork in a hole in an orchard is confusing. The years, the names, the nails, pick any two, forget.

Now I've written it down, to share. Sure, visit anger, visit the past, but why live there? Well, "if you have to ask"... Read it. Know me and see just that, or not. It's always there. Just one. Mine, ours. The only past. The only chance to make one. It's The Rock, carved. The Door, best left closed.

It is inscribed on something eternal which we shoulder up stairs, confused and unawares. Is someone helping that to bear? That would be divine. Does absolution work? Well, "if you have to ask"... then none for me, none for mine.

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